And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize