Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
