So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
