I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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