I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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