I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize