i just wanna soil my oats bro
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
