we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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