my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
