Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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