Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
