she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
