Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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