what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
