Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
