I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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