Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
