who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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