WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
