Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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