Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize