Pants 0. Shit 1.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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