You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
