I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
