he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
