I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize