if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
