so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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