I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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