I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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