ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Never let your siblings swipe right.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
