Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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