Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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