after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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