She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
