There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
