fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
