did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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