if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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