There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
