So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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