i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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