Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
