one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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