You're my little dorito
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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