she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
