I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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