I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
