The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
