too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
