Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
