he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
