I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
