Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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