Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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