Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't deserve a penis
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So vagazzling was a success
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
