miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
