im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
