Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't think brook has ever known best
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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