I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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