Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
