five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
