just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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